Thursday, September 2, 2010

Grandmas, Turning Frowns Upside Down

A friend who is also a neighbor is the best. I have been blessed with one such friend. We have exchanged cubes of butter, eggs, shared our fresh baked goodies, went on morning walks together, looked after one another's homes while the other is away, we had dinners out with our husbands, she altered my daughters prom dress, and I watered her plants. Our favors went back and forth and for me there is nothing better than a true trading friend.

As mothers and grandmas we both love our families and we love spending time with them. We both have aging parents and mothers suffering from dementia. One major difference was that I had my family very close by and she was miles, and miles away from hers. A situation that came about because of the real estate down turn in Arizona. She and her husband owned a home near their family and they had a beautiful custom home built as an investment during the peak of the crazy housing market in Arizona. When the custom home near me did not sell because the housing market crashed at a very bad time for their investment they put both of their homes up for sale and decided to live in the one that didn't sell. Lucky for me, she became my neighbor.

She was living in her beautiful home but she was missing the closeness of her family. As her friend, fellow mother and grandmother I totally got that. She is a real estate agent and the house always had a for sale sign in front of it and I know her prayers plead for a buyer. Her prayers were not about getting a return on her financial investment but one of her family unit being reunited. She was noticing a shift in the family unity that the distance between them was creating.

As a friend, when I heard the news that she had found a buyer for  her house I was both happy and sad. I was going to be losing my neighbor who is my friend. While I was so happy for her I knew that our friendship would be changing and that made me sad.

I was looking out the same window I would watch for her to be heading out for our morning walks when I saw the moving truck there. Again I was filled with very mixed emotions.

Just before my friend moved she told me that seeing and hearing of the closeness of my family was something that she yearned for. When she would see me walking down the street to one of my grands birthday parties or hear the laughter and chatter from our back yard bbq's, or see my living room filled with family through my front picture window as she drove by her heart would ache for her own family.

So, for those reasons I am as happy as I can be for my dear friend. But, I still can't help feeling just a tiny bit sad too!

I know that she is going to be one of those friends that time and miles will not matter. Whenever we see one another it will be as though there has been no distance between us. Those kind of friendships are one of the true treasures in life. So for now, I choose to turn my frown upside down and be very, very happy for my friend. 


  1. Your thoughts made me think of a line from a Billy Joel song, "Life is a series of hello's and good-byes." You'll always have the memories of how your friend shaped your life.

  2. Seeing the picture of our moving truck made me feel sad, for I too felt the pain of leaving behind good friends and neighbors. What a beautiful tribute you wrote to our friendship, a copy will be going in my journal. Thank you for your love and support.
    Grandma Dalene